It has been a while, but I feel the need to write. Life these past few months has been as crazy as usual with a toddler who is pushing buttons to see how far he can go, a preschooler who has decided he doesn't like school, and a kindergarten student who has all of a sudden blossomed into a social butterfly. I am enjoying these moments even if my anxiety has been returning in small waves. Speaking of anxiety...I don't want to offend anyone in the mental health field with those post because I truly do think there is a need for drugs and such for certain people...but not everyone..
It has been about a year since I saw that terrible doctor who said terrible things about the state of my mental health. He wanted to put me on several different drugs in order to keep me from "doing something I would regret to either myself or my children." It has been a year, and I have never taken a single drug...He seemed to know what I needed in those first five minutes of meeting him because he was "just that good at his job." Really? Did I really need those drugs when I am functioning even better than I was at that time without the use of anything? I have been taking Lemon Balm for my anxiety, but that is just a calming herb. It has just made me think about how many people out there are taking drugs they don't really need. Talking to a therapist seriously did the trick for me..Talking can be the best medicine for some of us...not all of us, but there are way too many people out there who are being prescribed things they don't need. It just makes me sad for them. What if I had listened to him and had just gone along with his plan just trusting that he really was just that good at his job? It just makes me so angry that we go to people in a fragile state just coming out feeling much worse thinking that we might harm ourselves or others if we don't take the drugs they think will help us. I can understand really needing them if you have been working with someone for a while and talking is just not helping you at all..but just meeting someone for an hour and within a few minutes labeling them? That just isn't right! There is definitely a place for antidepressants, anti anxiety medicines, etc., but it might not the answer for everyone. I just wish they would take more time listening to people instead of just throwing prescriptions in their faces and making them feel like they really need to take them if they want to stay sane. That sort of sounds like bullying to me...
I am well...I am happy for the most part. I have been getting back in touch with my feelings again after shoving them down for a long time. I am learning to be content, and I am learning to not be so afraid of just being the real me no matter who I might lose as a friend. I have discovered that I am secretly a country girl. I like living in the country, but I am starting to feel the part..I want chickens, a goat, etc. Yes...I want to raise some animals. I have no idea where this came from, but I am finding such joy in frogs, tadpoles, etc. I am letting my hair down (not really since it is up every day these days), but I am just loving not caring about what everyone else might think if I truly turn into a country girl. :) Let them think I am crazy! I know a lot of people already think I am crazy for letting my dogs sleep in bed with me! :)
I just felt the need to remind you to just be an advocate for yourself. Doctors do not always know you better than you know yourself. There are times when they do, but they aren't always "just that good at their jobs."