My kids have been horrible since Thanksgiving, and every part of me is tired of Christmas. It's supposed to be a magical time of year, but I am finding it to be sad and downright aggravating. Christmas is not supposed to be about presents and Santa but that is all the kids focus on. I am sad. I am not doing a good enough job of making them more aware of those around them or teaching them the reason we even celebrate in the first place. My kids feel entitled to things they don't even need and they expect to get what they asked for. If I was strong enough I would cancel Christmas like another mother did when her kids were not acting up to par. It's sad that I even feel this way. I should be excited to see the joy on their faces, but I anticipate another "this is it?". Don't get me wrong, I love watching the excitement on their faces, but I feel like the excitement is all about the wrong things. I think if this world focused more on the true meaning of Christmas instead of gifts, Santa, baking, etc, we might just all be a little happier. Isn't the gift of eternal life the best gift ever? It's not the newest gadget or toy of the year.. If only I could make them understand how fortunate they are to have the things that they do and to think about the bigger picture. I realize they are young, but I look around and see a lot of older kids who expect even more and think even less of those around them. I will just continue to pray that my kids are able to see the big picture some day so we can all look at Christmas differently.
Christmas is hard for me too for other reasons. Five years ago at this time I was pregnant and excited about what the new year was going to bring us. A new house, a new baby, new memories. I had no idea that in January the rug would be pulled out from underneath me. I had no idea that the last happy thing I would remember would be that Christmas. I have had happiness, but Christmas will never be the same for me again. It's a tough holiday for me, but I will muddle through it like I always do. I just wish Christmas could be different for my family. Gratitude, celebrating the true meaning, and showing love to others would make a perfect holiday in my book.
My goal is to get my kids to appreciate what they have, look outside of themselves, and to celebrate the gift that was sent so many years ago. If my kids want that gift we all get the best gift of all..spending an eternity together. That to me, is priceless.