Seven Months

Today marks seven months that Aubree has been in Heaven which also means that is has been seven months of her not being here with us...I still miss her every day, and I think about her all of the time. I was driving home last night after a meeting I had, and I was struck by how much I really do miss her. I just wish I could have gotten to know her a bit more, could have seen what she looked like at seven months, what she was getting herself into, what her personality was like, etc. I have all of these wishes, but I just have to be patient until my time comes. I think about the new people that I am meeting who have no clue that Aubree even existed..they have no clue about that horrible event seven months ago that changed me forever..they will never know who I was before. I think about that, and I realize that I have no clue who they were seven months ago either..We could look at everyone that way really because we don't know their stories unless they share them. I am now in the second half of this first year without her. Sure..it has gotten easier, but I still feel her absence every day. I can't help it. I still think back to where I was last year at this time, and I wish I could have warned myself to not get too excited about this new baby...I loved her so much from the minute that I found out she was coming, and I have had to learn to live without her since the day I found out she was not going to live..

Carley and I have really been enjoying a song we have been hearing on the radio lately..I love to sing with her. It is so cute to hear her singing the right words or the ones that she thinks are the right words. I am trying to listen to the words and to let them sink in..I found myself doing that last night on my way to my meeting.

I hear you breathing in
Another day begins
The stars are falling out
My dreams are fading now, fading out

I've been keeping my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my eyes wide open

Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running through me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, running to me

Oh, your love is a song

The dawn is fire bright
Against the city lights
The clouds are glowing now
The moon is blacking out, is blacking out

So I've been keeping my mind wide open
I've been keeping my mind wide open, yeah

Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running to me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, and into me

Oh, your love is a song
Your love is a song
Oh, your love is a song
Your love is strong

With my eyes wide open
I've got my eyes wide open
I've been keeping my hopes unbroken
Yeah, yeah

Ooh, your love is a symphony
All around me, running through me
Ooh, your love is a melody
Underneath me, running to me

Your love is a song
Yeah, yeah
Your love is my remedy
Oh, your love is a song

Your Love is a Song by Switchfoot...I just need to keep my eyes and mind wide open too..