Monday, November 14, 2011

Not Much to Say...

I haven't really had much to say lately so I haven't been writing. I have been enjoying Westyn, and I have been busy with visits from friends and family. I am so thankful for all of the wonderful people we have in our lives who have embraced our family in both good times and in the bad times. I am very thankful for the people who still talk about Aubree and remember her with me even after Westyn has arrived. She is still on my mind a lot, and there are times when I look at Westyn and I can only see her..She is there, and I am always going to wonder what she would have been like at Westyn's age..I am heading into another holiday season without her, and I find that the holidays make me miss her even more. I think it also probably doesn't help that my kids have been asking some specific questions about Aubree such as "why did she die?" or "how did she die?" I even heard them telling my mother-in-law over the weekend that Aubree died in my belly..I know I am supposed to be honest with them, but I really don't want them telling complete strangers this so hopefully they won't just start talking about it even more. Parker asked me again this morning about Aubree's death on the way to pick up Carley from preschool. He was wondering if it was like how Jesus died on the cross..Death is so vague to them right now, and they just don't understand where they are at the moment. It is really hard to explain to a three-year-old! I sometimes wish that we didn't have to talk about Aubree dying, but that is the reality of our lives. She is not here with us, and the only way we can remember her is to talk about her even if it is hard sometimes...

2 comments:

  1. Praying for you. I think I had to learn to talk about Beathany and embrace her and her death by talking about it. Once I made her a part of our family by talking about her to anyone and everyone I was not so upset all the time and began to get better. It is hard to talk to children. I always told my children that even when we don't have all the answers GOd will pull us through as a family..... HUGS your way!!!!

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