Monday, February 13, 2012

Quiet...

Sorry I have been so quiet lately. I guess I just haven't had much to say, or maybe I didn't want to ramble on about how anxious I have become about everything. I am working on that at the moment both through prayer and with going back to therapy. I just can't keep on living like this, and my family needs me. I haven't exactly been a happy person, and I want to go back to the old me. I know that it might not be entirely possible, but I can get as close as I can hopefully! That is pretty much where I have been..Generalized Anxiety..I know that some of it could be postpartum stuff going on, but I want to truly enjoy everything with my family. At this point in my life I don't feel like I am there so I am going to attempt to get there...

As for everything else..my children are all doing very well in swimming and at school. Westyn is getting huge, and he is bringing me nothing but joy every single day. He is seriously the happiest baby who just loves life. I swear God knew what He was doing when He blessed us with him! I want time to stop so he will quit growing, but I know that isn't possible. It just makes me sad to think that he is my last baby, and it makes me sad that every single item of clothing that I pack up will never be worn by any of my children ever again..It is hard to realize that you have come to the end of that part of your life. I realize I have a lot to look forward to, but I am just such a baby person! I will miss this phase!

Our two year mark is coming up, and I still miss her every day...I do have to say that I have somehow made my peace with it all. Aubree was never meant to live here, but Westyn was. I would have loved to have known Aubree, but I would have hated to miss out on all that Westyn is..I have decided to just accept this, and to just enjoy him instead of feeling so guilty all of the time for everything..Not an easy thing to do at times, but I don't want to miss out on anything with this beautiful baby..

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