On Tuesday I decided to take the kids swimming so we all packed up, and we decided to stop at the cemetery on the way to my aunt's house since I haven't been there since her birthday in February..gasp..I feel terribly about it, but the weather and our schedule has just not allowed for us to go since it is about an hour away. I was so excited to go and spend some time with her and to see her flowers in full bloom since my Foxglove is beautiful right now..When I got there the kids ran ahead, and by the time I go to her grave I felt like sobbing..Her flowers were gone..completely gone! It was like they never even existed. Her grave looked just like it did before we did anything to it. Even the bark mulch we had put down was gone. It was all there in February..how could it just be gone? I am not sure if it was mowed or if they weed-wacked too close to it or what, but her grave is sad. I went expecting to see some life, and all I saw was death. Mike said, "Well..that is reality." I just thought those flowers were so special because they bloomed for such a long time when they are supposed to be done blooming by the beginning of July..they shouldn't last until almost November out in a field where no one is taking care of them..Well..not really anyways..I was just devastated. It put me into even more a funk then I have been in lately. My kids were so upset about the fact that her cupcake was gone as were the flowers we had left for her. I am guessing they were hoping to eat her cupcake..
I know that they are just flowers, but I planted them for her, and they are gone..just another reminder of her loss. I feel like I am really starting to feel her loss more and more now that this baby is so active. Every kick brings me back to my pregnancy with her and how much I miss her. Seeing her grave just reminded me again of how gone she really is..I still keep looking for that dragonfly..I pray that it will show up as a comfort to me again..