It's Been A Week..

This week has not been a good one at all. It has been emotional to say the least. We had my sister's shower on Sunday at my mom's house. It went really well, and I think everyone had a nice time. I can't say that it wasn't hard for me to see her opening up the really cute baby girl things..I am very happy for her, but it still hurts to see those kinds of things since I never got to put Aubree in anything like that. That was just the start of my week...

I was watching Oprah, which I have been doing just this year when I have the time, and she had on a family who lost all three of their children in a horrible car accident. Hearing things like that really got to me before, but now they are gut wrenching because I get it now..I can't even imagine losing the other two at the same time as I lost Aubree. They were on the show to show that no matter what happens in your life you have to keep on going. I truly believe that, and this family is the model of strength. She was a stay at home mom who had no children to care for..Wow. She did end up having triplets a year after the accident though. They will never replace the three that she lost, but they are experiencing joy as a family again. After sobbing for an hour for this family I received a phone call from my good friend to let me know that a woman, whose family goes to our church, just lost her twins at 22 weeks gestation..She thought I would be a good person to tell since I might have something to offer them in the way of support. My heart broke all over again for this family too. I immediately ordered my favorite book to send to them in hopes that it can provide some comfort in this awful time of their lives. This poor woman not only lost her twins (a boy and a girl), but she lost her brother too. He died of cancer after his senior year of high school. This family has been through a lot, but this woman's mother is a pillar of strength. She is a huge part of our church, and she has always been a positive person regardless of what she has gone through. Now she just lost her grandchildren..Please just pray for this family as they begin the grieving process. It was a bad day in general..too much heartache.

The rest of the week has been tough. I have been fighting something which has made me very tired and not feeling like myself at all. Parker has been sick again with a terrible cough so I'm sure we are all fighting whatever he has going on. Mike and I have barely talked all week it seems like. Every time we try to talk we are interrupted by the kids. Even he said that he can't find the joy in things right now. I guess we are both at the same place right now. It's not a good place to be in, but I am hoping and praying that this too shall pass. I know that grief comes in waves so hopefully we are both just in one of those waves right now. I am just so tired of feeling like someone else..I want to be the joyful person that I was last year (maybe minus the house-building stress). I have this picture on my desk from last Halloween, and the joy on all of our faces is so apparent. Where is that joy and when will it come back??