Tuesday, June 29, 2010


I have been battling a bad case of poison ivy on my arms and on my neck..I have been trying several different things to try to dry it up so I can be a little more comfortable. The part that drives me crazy is that I got it from my dogs. If I could just be a normal person and not sleep with my dogs all cuddled up in my arms on my pillow then maybe I would be able to keep from getting it! I just love my dogs way too much for that I guess. I have heard to try wiping them down with a baby wipe so I might try that to help get the poison ivy oils off of them when they come inside. I am just so darn itchy! I can't wait until it all goes away so I can just get it again..:)

I have been feeling sort of "itchy" in other ways too. I have such an itch to have another baby because I miss having a baby around. When I get to hold another baby I love it, but I hate that I have to give them back. I want my own baby to hold. I know that I might not be ready just yet emotionally or physically for a baby, but I can't help but want one. Babies are so precious and they depend entirely on you for everything. I love feeling wanted. With that said, I can't imagine how God feels...How fulfilled He must be when we depend solely on Him for our needs. I have been trying so hard to just trust that God will provide for my needs, and that He has my best interests at heart. I know that there are times that I have questioned Him because I just don't understand why I wasn't able to keep Aubree or why she had to be sick at all. I think back to where I was last year at this time, and I wonder if I would even recognize myself. I do believe that I have grown in my faith (you sort of have to in order to get through each day), and I believe that I am a different person as a result. I am learning to not care about the things that don't even matter or to worry about things that aren't worth worrying about. Sometimes things are thrown our way that we can't do a darn thing about. I feel like I learned that the hard way, but I have learned what is really important in life. I just hope that Aubree is proud of how her mother is handling things...I would hate to let her down since I couldn't help her while she was with me.

Oh yeah..supposedly poison ivy is aggravated by coffee..I'm not THAT "itchy." :)

1 comment:

  1. I love my dogs way too much, too :) (And coffe for that matter!) I know Aubree is proud of you. I feel like I have leaned so many of these lessons the hard way as well. xxx