Thursday, March 18, 2010

All Cleared..

Parker and I went to Greensburg this morning for our mole checks. We were both cleared thankfully. He has just one mole on his leg that he has had since birth, and he keeps digging at it. It has of course gotten larger and has grown unusual in my head since all of this has happened so I made them look at it. I knew they were going to tell me it was fine, but for my piece of mind these days I just needed to hear it. My mole that they took a sample of never grew back so I am good too..We both go back in a year for our yearly check. They took a picture of his so they will know if it is changing at all. I have considered doing a mole mapping since my moles are so hard to keep track of thanks to all of the freckles. Maybe at some point I will do that..when I have a bit more time to kill I guess. I then took him to lunch at Pizza Hut..not even close to my first choice, but I figured he would be happy. He didn't eat a darn thing! He has that cold so I guess pizza didn't sound appetizing to him. If I had known he wasn't going to eat I would have just chosen someplace that sounded good to me! Oh well..maybe he will eat some dinner.

I finally got to talk to one of my very good friends today on the phone. She has been so supportive through all of this, but I haven't had a chance to actually talk to her since I haven't really been talking to anyone other then a few texts here and there. She and I cried together which is not unusual since we have cried a lot for each other in the last four years that we have known each other. We went through infertility together and now she is grieving for me again..she grieved for me when I had my miscarriage too..She has enough on her plate! It was so nice to hear her voice. I just wish that we lived closer since our kids really seem to like playing together. I have another friend who has been extremely supportive too..the thing about her is that I have never met her physically or even talked to her on the phone..Our whole contact has been through email, cards, etc...She is the one person that I really need to make time to meet though..She has been so amazing through all of fact she has been so amazing in the years that I have talked to her. She is another one of those people that I met through infertility is so amazing how you can find such support from people you don't even know..What I am trying to get at is that there are so many wonderful people in this world, and we have to be willing to reach out to find them outside of our comfort zones. You have no idea what or who God has in store for you until you allow yourself to open up to the possibilities...Your life can be so much richer if you allow God to use you in ways you never imagined before. I still feel called to missions..not sure what my mission is yet..maybe I am on the verge of finding out..

There is a support group meeting tonight that I completely forgot about..I might try to make next month's meeting though..I just have a lot to do tonight to get my kids ready to go to camp with my parents, and I don't want to have to ask my mom and dad to watch the kids again for me..they have done enough of that this week already! It is so nice to be able to leave them with my mom for an appointment because I have yet to find someone who can watch them during the day. In the summer it won't be a big deal because I can either ask one of the girls from our church or one of my cousins if they are available...It is just hard when they are all in school, and I need an appointment during the day...It is so nice to be near family especially when things like Trisomy 18 come into your life unexpectedly. I don't know what I would have done without my mom and dad's support throughout that..My mom really helped me with the kids because I just wasn't there mentally...I am slowly getting better with that I think. I have even tried three new recipes this week..I am getting back into my old routines slowly..still have to see someone..I can't say that I didn't try though. I am going to be all alone tomorrow afternoon, and I wish I could have someone come over, but I'm not sure anyone would be able to since their kids will be sleeping! Maybe next week...

I only cried twice so far today...once on the phone and then once again in the doctor's office. My doctor just asked me how life was..I had to tell him that it could be better of course. After his prying a little I told him the truth. He was pretty sorry about it, but get this..not only is he a dermatologist, but he used to be a psychologist when he was in the Navy..He was asking me about grief counseling. I am still planning on doing that if need be..I am just trying to get other things done right run to different cities every day! I am trying it on my own right now, but if things continue to not improve then I will definitely revisit the grief counseling idea..He is a great guy because he has seen me through all of my troubles..he and his wife had issues getting pregnant too..they ended up adopting a little boy..he is just a nice guy who seems to truly care about his patients. I have found a lot of doctors like that lately...I feel lucky!

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