Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Trying To Stay Focused..

I have been trying to add more items to my to-do list in my head just to keep on going. I actually went out in public today to Lowe's to get a few things that we need for the new house. I felt like I was just going through the motions and that everyone at Lowe's was much too chipper today...I seem to have noticed that about people these days. I usually think people are not that friendly when I go out, but it seems as if I am the unfriendly one these days. I just feel like normal tasks take so much more effort, and it is so hard to remember what it was I was even shopping for. I did get some cleaning supplies and some little things that we did need though so it was a successful shopping trip.

We are planning on moving our big stuff in on Friday if all goes well. We didn't pass the inspection yesterday because our fire alarms don't go off together like they should. They go off individually, but not together. I just don't understand why that is a big deal since we have a security system that has fire alarms hardwired into the phone line. Supposedly they will call us if our house is registering warmer than it should...Who knows. The electricians were there today to figure it out, but they are clueless so they took them all down to work on them today. They are going to come back tomorrow to make sure the wiring is ok...fun stuff. We already had to have our carpet fixed because there were two holes in the steps..we haven't even moved in yet, and we paid a lot for that darn carpet so it better not give us any more problems! It's funny though..I would have gotten really mad about stuff like that before, but now I just look at it as no big deal...it is just a material thing...I don't even care about the painting job anymore..that was a big deal before...Like I said..you completely change when you go through something like this.

I am having a really hard time with food these days. I am trying to eat, but every time I do my stomach gets upset. Food and I are just not that close these days. I am having a hard time even wanting to eat, but I know I need to so I keep trying to eat at least something for every meal. This is typical of me though..when I am upset I don't eat. I know some people do the opposite, but I definitely don't eat because I am just not hungry. I guess it might help me to lose the extra weight right now..one bonus I guess. I actually don't have too much to lose this time around so hopefully it will be easy once I am given the ok to go back to exercising. That alone has been hard since exercise is a huge part of how I deal with stress. I feel like I have so much pent up stress and anxiety that I just can't get out these days...three more weeks I guess...

I have still been receiving several sympathy cards and wonderful messages from friends on Facebook...a big thank you to everyone who took the time to write to me. Some of you have just been able to say the right things, and I truly appreciate your wisdom and advice. I am just so thankful that there are so many wonderful people out there...Everyone says this world is falling apart, and I do have to agree that life is not as great as it used to be in many ways for our kids, but...everyone who has reached out to us has shown that there is still a lot of good left in this world. Thank goodness for that! I also want to thank those who have donated to Aubree's Legacy page..every single penny goes to help research and to help the families who are living with children who have Trisomy 18..What a wonderful gift you have given to those families and to families who are yet to be diagnosed. Miss Aubree will never be forgotten!

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